What I know for sure because of Oprah

This past week brought the end of an era.  (“Era” being described as a significant period of time marked by a distinctive character or event.)

The “Oprah Show” ended after 25 years on the air.  Even though I was an occasional watcher, I learned so much from the show, and even more from Oprah herself.  To commemorate the significant even that it was, I’ve decided to create a list of “What I Know For Sure” because of Oprah.

1)    Your past does not dictate your future. Most people are aware that Oprah had many challenges to overcome as a child (sexual abuse being one of them).  But it wasn’t until I recently read “The Help” that I fully got what she was up against being raised in southern Mississippi in the 1960’s.  Even thought the Civil Rights movement was gaining momentum in various parts of the country, in Mississippi most African-American girls at the time had no careers available to them except that of maid and housekeeper.   To think that Oprah had the courage – the audacity – to consider a career in journalism flew in the face of everything she had been taught about her race and her gender.  She defied generations of programming and made the decision to overcome her past.  It’s what you do now, today and what choices you make that will determine what and who you become.

2)    All it takes is one person to completely change the life of a child. On the final show, Oprah had her fourth grade teacher present to thank her.  She thanked her for giving her validation and making her feel important.  The teacher did this simply by including Oprah in things and giving her responsibility.  Can you imagine being that person who helped encourage and validate the “Richest Woman in the World”?  The funny thing is we all have that opportunity.

3)    Marriage and children is not the only path to happiness and fulfillment. For many women, motherhood is the culmination of a dream they have had since childhood.  For me, I had the dream for many years.  But somewhere in my early 30’s, my dream started to change.  Not because Prince Charming was taking his own sweet time coming (which he was) but because I started to love my role as “favorite aunt” and saw the difference I could make for other people’s children.  Oprah expressed exactly what I had been feeling when at the dedication of her school for girls in Africa she said, “’I love these girls with every part of my being. I didn’t know you could feel this way about other people’s children.”  I would never claim that having nieces and nephews is the same as having your own children.  But it surely is the next best thing!

4)    Weight issues are rarely simple and more often related to deep-seated issues. When I used to watch Oprah’s struggle with weight, I had a very cynical attitude.  As a multi-billionaire, she had personal trainers, personal chefs, nutritionists, you name it.   I figured she could afford to hire someone to be by her side, 24 x 7 and slap food out of her hand if she wanted to.  And yet, as she continued to struggle with her weight, I realized, and she acknowledged, there is more at play here than just having the right information and resources to lose weight.  There are typically underlying issues of worthiness and self-esteem.   I struggle myself with the belief that I can have it all.  It seems in my life I’ve always juggled three main balls: relationship, finances/work life, and weight/health.  It has seemed – even thought my rational mind rejects this belief – that I am only able to keep two of the balls in the air at the same time.  And right now, my relationship and business are thriving so……..well, you get the picture.  How reassuring it has been to see that I am not alone.  Rather, “The Richest Woman in the World” struggles with something I am so familiar with.  It made me realize not only is she human but SO AM I.

Look for more next week…