Whenever we feel a conflict between what we know is right vs. what we really want to do, we are experiencing a conflict between our values and our behavior. When this happens, we have a choice. We can alter our behavior to match our values; or we can change our values to match our behavior.
As you can imagine many people find either of these options difficult and so they just live with the conflict. They think one thing but do another. They preach health and wellness, yet they smoke. They condemn dishonesty at work; yet they cheat on their taxes. They profess to believe in fidelity; yet push flirting to the limit.
So if you are finding yourself in a similar situation, the first thing to do is examine your values. Why do you believe what you believe? Are these beliefs you chose or beliefs that were handed down to you? Is it really possible that you don’t value integrity as much as you would like to?
If you find your value is a reflection of your true beliefs, then question why your behavior is counter to your values. Is it just easier? Path of least resistance? Do you possibly have an addiction you haven’t admitted to? Many times a behavior in conflict with our deepest values is just a way to self-sabotage our success.
Whatever you find out through this exploration, you may want to hire a coach or counselor to work through this conflict.
